Have you ever noticed how many times a day you say the word ‘should?’ The next time you say it – please catch yourself. And stop. Personally, that word practically gives me hives. If you use it to describe yourself, it implies guilt or shame (i.e. I should do the laundry). If you use it to describe others, it implies condescension and often arrogance (i.e. He should know better). Either way you slice it, “should” is up to no good!
Despite knowing this – in my bones – I’ve still been doing it lately. In my head! About this newsletter! Don’t get me wrong – I love writing this newsletter. I love inspiring and uplifting and challenging you (and me!) in new, vibrant ways. But life gets busy sometimes! And after a full work week, and taking care of two small children, chauffeuring to activities, doing house and outdoor work, groceries and laundry, I often find myself collapsing into the weekend. Come Sunday, when I’m just catching a breath, I often find myself “should-ing” all over myself about writing this newsletter and getting it out, ideally by Sunday night. Chop! Chop!
I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that. And truly, it’s my dream to write, speak, inspire and do these sorts of things. But I guess I’m not fully at that place yet. Instead, I’m in a place of juggling a lot of balls in the air. I’m in what you could call those “builder years” where it feels like everywhere I turn, there’s something else to build, grow and nurture. Oh, and pay for. It’s exhausting sometimes! And I’m not making it any easier by “should-ing” all over myself, you know?
So what am I going to do about it? I’m going to lay off my own Himalayan-high expectations and I don’t know…write a meaningful, self-inspired newsletter say… every month? Unless I feel like, and have the energy, to write more. After all, the ‘weekly’ deadline is self-imposed. And let’s be honest – I wasn’t always making it. The last thing I want to do is disappoint you or feel badly or guilty about not fitting it all in.
Deep breath, Tanya.
This is not a big deal. First-world problem. Slowly but surely, you’ll do it. In your own time. One foot in front of the other is enough.
Now what about you? Is there something in your life that you’re “should-ing” on yourself about? Maybe you have the best intentions about it but for one reason or another, you’re “should-ing” on yourself and feeling badly about it?
What if we both just made a clear pact right now to say: “It’s okay. You don’t have to do everything all at once. There’s a season for everything. Let’s give ourselves a break. Let’s live our lives more freely.”
And then, I don’t know – go outside! Enjoy yourself. Breathe in some fresh, spring, air. Spend a little time getting a little bored. Because you know what they say about boredom: it’s the gateway to peace.
And shouldn’t we all have a little more of that?